Are You Leading With a Hangover?
"Stop fighting!"
We’ve all been there. Whether it’s kids, parents, or a significant other, you’re just trying to have a great day, and someone is determined to audition for a daytime drama.
That was me on vacation last week. Perfect weather, ocean breeze, soft sand… and my kids arguing over who got the cuter Labubu. All I wanted was for them to enjoy it, not bicker over things that won’t matter by dinner.
Fast forward 30 minutes.
The fight? Completely forgotten. My kids were laughing like best friends on a sitcom, chasing our dog Luna down the beach. She’d run straight into the waves, riding them back to shore like an expert surfer. Then, she’d sprint after birds she had absolutely no shot of catching. My wife was smiling. My kids were smiling. And before I knew it, so was I.
But for a while, I was the only one still in the fight. Not literally (though if sand-throwing had started, I was ready). Mentally. I was still annoyed, replaying the scene in my head like a bad rerun.
That’s when it hit me.
I was experiencing a leadership hangover.
The Leadership Hangover
It’s when you carry an emotion from one moment into the next, good or bad, and let it color everything you see. A tense meeting in the morning makes you overly cautious in the afternoon. A win with one client makes you overconfident with the next. Frustration with one team member makes you misinterpret another’s intentions.
In those moments, you’re not reacting to what’s happening now. You’re reacting to leftover emotion from before. It’s like trying to enjoy dessert while still tasting the burnt toast from breakfast.
How to Avoid the Hangover Effect
Name It: Acknowledge you’re still carrying something: “I’m still frustrated from earlier” or “I’m still riding the high from that success.”
Pause Before You Respond: Give yourself a few beats to reset.
Anchor in the Present: Look around. Listen. Notice what’s actually happening now, not what happened 30 minutes ago.
Start Fresh and Ask: “If this moment had no history, how would I approach it?”
On that beach, my kids had already moved on. Luna was living entirely in the moment. My wife was soaking it all in. The only one stuck in Act One was me. When I finally let go of the earlier moment, I realized something important. The people around me had been living in this moment all along.
In leadership and in life, the best thing you can do is show up fresh for every moment. Because the next wave, whether it’s an opportunity, a breakthrough, or just pure joy, doesn’t care what happened in the last one.
